It's what's inside that counts, even though what's outside is beautiful.

Everyone has hang ups, of every kind. Like for example I think my size 10/12, small breasted figure isn’t anything special, but I know many people that would die for it. What’s the most important though is the personality within that size 6/8/10/12/14/16/18/20/22 (whatever) figure. Again I’m not perfect, my mood swings could, figuratively speaking go from England to Australia. But this isn’t about me, this is about, how everyone in their own way is perfect.

Our personalities will always shine through, as long as we let them, we are amazing. We smile when we’re happy, we cry when we’re sad. Everything that we do we choose to do! Every bit of this is optional and we should choose it.

 No matter what anyone thinks, they are perfect. The only reason someone would perceive themselves as anything less is an attitude thing. Stupid diets and endless moaning won’t get anyone anywhere until they believe that they are beautiful and they can do anything they want to do.

Men are not an appropriate judge for this kind of thing. So why do we judge ourselves so well on what men think about this kind of thing? If they’re drunk, they go for anything with a pulse. If they’re not they hide behind the shallow comments and narrow thinking that they share with their friends. I don’t know why we feel the need to make ourselves into something we’re not for something that we don’t need.

The most amazing thing in life is not the men, it’s the love we share with our friends, the hope we invest in our friendships and we should spend every moment of our life laughing and crying in the arms of the people that love us unconditionally. Sure some of them come and go, but if they choose to go then they are not worth it, they are not worth you and they are not worth anything.

Whether someone is four minutes away or four hundred miles, you can always remember the time you spent dancing, crying and laughing. Those meaningful 3am phone calls, the films (scary or not), the private jokes, the stupid dancing to songs from films, the pizzas, the Lambrini and the endless fashion shows and outfit stresses.

Happiness is optional; it’s something we choose, not something we receive. If we want to be happy we should be. And why not be when we have so much going for us. Embrace new experiences, smile and never forget how amazing you are. 

Happiness.

Happy

adj. hap·pi·er, hap·pi·est

1. Characterized by good luck; fortunate.

2. Enjoying, showing, or marked by pleasure, satisfaction, or joy.

3. Being especially well-adapted; felicitous: a happy turn of phrase.

4. Cheerful; willing: happy to help.

5.

a. Characterized by a spontaneous or obsessive inclination to use something. Often used in combination: trigger-happy.

b. Enthusiastic about or involved with to a disproportionate degree. Often used in combination: money-happy; clothes-happy.

This is the dictionary definition of happy. But what does happy actually mean. When are we really happy? Many people would say happy is something which is achievable only by ones self. Having dreams and wants are what makes happy. For we achieve what we want from life which causes us to be happy.

For example, I'm happy because I've made amazing friendships with amazing people. I'm happy because I have a goal in life and I'm in pursuit of it. I'm happy because everything I've done in life so far has been good. I have no regrets. Because regrets are not worthy of mention.

Being happy is normally a choice that you can make happen. For example my brothers and father support Tottenham so are happy when they win (which admittedly is hardly ever), my mother enjoys her job so she is happy when at work, my grandmother loves me and my brother so she's happy when we are with her and my auntie and uncle love walking and exploring England, so they are happy when they're walking in the Yorkshire Dales. This happiness is what everyone craves.

I'm happy when I'm at work, chatting with the customers, when I'm campaigning or talking politics with my chosen political party, when I'm studying the law or sociological theories, when I'm drinking with my uni friends or simply just chatting with any friends.

Happiness, like the quest for the one, is in the path of the beholder. It can only be what we make it. What we want it to be. We can only be happy if we make the most of what we are given.

I'm not completely pleased with this post but I'm going to leave you with the thought for now.

The 'one'.

So, my flatmate/bestfriend/confidante has entered a quest. A quest to find the 'one'. Now I don't think he's taking it overly seriously seeing as every girl he walks past could be the 'one'. In fact I rang him the other day and he said 'ooh, I think the ones are walking past'. Now forgive my pessimism but with this attitude and his general approach to women (and I mean- 'Hey dude, the blonde one over there, out of ten?' -'She's stacked, maybe an eight') I don't think he'll be finding the 'one' any time soon.


The point in this blog though, for me was to analyse the 'one'. Now I am a hopeless romantic, I make no secret of it and I full on believe in the one. And you can call me sceptical but surely you shouldn't look for the one. Surely if it was meant to be, it will be. They will fall naturally in to your life's path. Fate! Or not...?


I can see where my flatmates coming from, a few weeks ago I took a shower, returning to find my facebook chat box up to him, he's written me a little monologue about how he's failed over some girl, because and I would like to be very clear here HE was too lazy to get up off his bum and go and visit her. Never mind the pretty much guaranteed sex which would normally drive anyone with an xy chromosome, he was too lazy to leave the comfort of our halls to walk to see her. So after some dramatic talk about how he feels like an idiot and what could've been, he decides to watch Dear John (no, I'm not joking- we went on to analyse it the next day)  and searching for ice-cream, he decided to find the 'one'.


This is the beginning of my contemplation. I mean he is quite clearly wounded and in need of some kind of rebound sex, just some fit girl who can make up for it. But no, he's decided he needs to find the 'one'. The last time I checked, he was twenty, moderately attractive and not short of attention from the ladies but now he's clinging on to anyone he sees and making them into things they are not. Sound familiar girls? 


I've had my fair share of male attention, there's the first crush, the unrequited love (both ways), the first boyfriend, the rebound, the one you will never quite be over, the weird dates and the infatuations. I could go on. But I've never felt any need to meet the 'one' yet. Of course I've planned it all, the wedding (in my local arboretum- in case you're interested), the honeymoon (Australia), the house(Central London till we have children then Warwick afterwards) and the children (Oliver, Bella and Rose).


Every guy who I'm with gets this treatment, a run through in my mind. I'd never say it out loud, and of course they always fit, I'll adapt them. Our plans in life are very flexible- we plan things but we will change them to fit the course of our lives. I mean that up there isn't my plan, not really- I bet none of those things will happen, but what can I do without dreaming. 


But back to the 'one', I mean when you meet the 'one', how do you know you've met the 'one'. During that time you're so caught up in the moment that you can't bear to think of being with anyone else. The thought of being single and having a night at home with a meal for one and a film fills you with dread. So surely you're with the one? 


The 'one' seems to be a very subjective concept. I have friends who I think are perfect for each other, and they may well have found the one, but maybe in ten years I'll look back at this and think who was I even writing about. It's a broad term, hard to pin point.


But for now I'm going to stop writing and wish you all the luck in finding the 'one'.